Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Same shit...

I just realized I have only blogged once so far this year and it was on January 1st.
I can't really explain what it is. My head is so full of thoughts and stress that I just don't know what to SAY anymore. I'm afraid it will all come out as, "IDidiof dsif asop hoad aoisjdoi cnduivnfvyf vudfuivfndsnmoi!"

I was excited for this year AND I STILL AM but part of me forgot earlier that the cool stuff doesn't start until a few months into the year. Plus, this cool stuff will be combined with a lot of stress so I'm not sure I will always see how awesome it really is.

As of right now, my life is the same. It seems that the closer I am getting to seeing Isaac again, the more impatient and lonely I feel. It's really exciting, the thought of having him here with me, but I can't help wondering why we have to be so far apart. It actually makes me angry and sick to see happy couples walking around. It's as though I think that if I can't be with my love now, everyone has to feel this pain. I still have to go through my life on my own just waiting. Go to work, come home, eat, sleep, go online. It seems as though that's all I do. Well, throw in some mindless walks around stores just to waste time and you pretty much have my life.

I have a list of things I could do or should do during this time but I end up putting them all off. Writing and re-writing the same shit on my to-do list over and over again. Like my life is on hold, except the few things I have to do every day.

Where did my day go?