Pissed me off.

Isn't it funny when "loyal" subscribers end up being more judgmental and just plain annoying than the "haters"?
This person found it appropriate to leave not one, not two, but three lovely comments.
Comment 1:
"who's isaac? how long have u been together?
how old r u again?"
This is funny because I have seen this person commenting on plenty of my videos so he MUST know who Isaac is. In fact, I found this comment on my "Today - Jefferson Airplane (For Isaac)" video.
"i wish you were single, cuz i think you're cute."
In which, at the time, I responded with, "That is a mean thing to wish. I do not wish I was single because I am in love and it's not like you would have me anyways. It seems like you are wishing I wasn't happy. Stop thinking about what you want and be happy for what others have."
And he said, "that's a very smart answer. Thanks for putting me in my place. Sorry I was being selfish.

Congrats on finding the man of your dreams and I wish u all the best.

Sorry"

So it is apparent that he knows who Isaac is but it looks like some sort of stupid jealousy is pushing him to say these things.

Age and length of time don't even have anything to do with this anyways. Especially when the couple KNOWS how much they are truly in love...

Comment 2:
"your income is not an issue. his may be because they don't want him to become a drain on social resources. All you need to do is prove you can support yourself financialy and won't be a welfare couple"

Well this has proven to be false. I need to be able to support him when he comes. The end.

Comment 3:
"but you REALLY SHOULD NOT get married till you've lived on your own and experienced life AWAY from your parents. Marriage is for responsible adults who don't need to rely on their parents. What the heck is your rush?

P.S. This video was a rambling mess. You are way too young to get married ok? Grow up, get a job, move out, find out who you really are before latching on to a boy you have a crush on."

This person is seriously just talking shit now. He really has no idea what the hell he is saying. So many people have gone straight from living at home to being married with no issues. Just because you know someone that may have had problems with that does not make it the majority. Even if it WAS the majority, Isaac and I AREN'T the majority. Our "rush" is because we know NOW that we love each other and are ready for married life. Besides, don't talk until you yourself is in a fucking long distance relationship. Then try telling me we are rushing to anything. We can't RUSH. It's not an option when immigration things are thrown in. I mean, if I was in a rush I wouldn't even be bothering with figuring out this immigration stuff. We are going to get married until 2010 anyways! Holy hell.
No shit it was a rambling mess, no need to point that out. I'm not way too young to get married, you're just strangely jealous and judgmental. I know who I am and this is not a FUCKING CRUSH. STOP FUCKING JUDGING WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW.

Sorry this just pissed me off to no end. It just bugs me that there are people like this out there. And he couldn't make it more fucking obvious that it is brought on by jealousy.

And to show what a dick he is, and I never quite noticed...
Here's a comment on another old video:
"show us where u work baby "

Blocked.

Haha, just saw his videos. Damn, I shouldn't have blocked him. He seems like a winner!!!!!



Sorry about the ranting, pissed me off.

Bird food in your keyboard

"Oh it's the kind of thing I could play with forever." - Isaac just said this referring to his new fancy chromatic guitar tuner.

Some things:

• Commonly said but I have to ask it as well... whatever happened to separation of church and state?
• Whatever happened to predictability? The milk man, the paper boy, evening tv!? You miss your old familiar friends waiting just around the bend. EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK... *cough*.. um... Yeah.
  
• Just because a religious group does good stuff for the community or for people it does not make up for hate and lies.
• Isaac and I are getting married here in the US. I have to say this because people keep telling me to just go there, marry him, and come back here. I don't want to do that. We want to get married here. I don't care if the other way may *possibly* be easier (hardly), but this way is faster in the end.
• People should stop complaining about Christmas stuff being here already. I am saying this because SteAndKel (most likely Steven) just twittered saying something about it being too early for Christmas stuff. It's the end of November! This isn't some new thing, Christmas stuff has come early for YEARS.
  
• I am freaking out about the lack of open jobs right now. I keep applying for things or sending my resume in and not hearing a peep from anyone. Maybe I'm just not good enough.
• It bugs me that every kind of cookware or bakeware in stores seems to have nonstick Teflon stuff which is a major NO NO if you have a parakeet. It can kill them! AHHHH! And since that's true, it's a little freaky to think about what it's putting in our bodies, though slowly.

I was w0ndering why one of my keys kept getting jammed the last couple days or where it just wouldn't work but then finally today I hit it, heard a crack, and a piece of bird food came out. I don't like that you can't take individual keys out of a laptop keyboard...

End.

K1 Visa, End of the world, and stuff.

First of all if you know anything about fiance visas and getting married to someone from another country please watch this and maybe help me out:



Second.
I am tired of this end of the world stuff. Having end of the world theories is not something new, as we should all know, so we shouldn't buy into any of this hype.
Even if it WAS true, what could we do about it? I say we just DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! It adds to stress and worry. Even hearing my friend theorize about it today made it impossible to leave my brain and it just makes me feel horrible. Keep your theories to yourself, or at least don't take them so seriously. If everyone took it seriously, we would just give up on living our lives happily. I mean, what's the point when the world is going to end? WE MUST PREPARE! Why work towards a long term goal, anyways? That's the way it makes me feel.

Third.
I can't find a job! I may have to go crazy with making as many ExpoTV videos this month as I am allowed (what is it? 10 or something?) to get some extra money because besides my money in savings (which I am NOT touching now) I am just about... penniless. I should try again selling my art on Etsy too. Hopefully someone will buy one or something. Last time I tried, someone tried buying one but not someone I will allow to buy from me. I don't have to worry about that anymore because I got help from a person working at Etsy.

Fourth.
I kind of want to see Twilight. Some people said it was crap, some said it was good. All I know if that I like the books (well, the first two I have read anyways) and it would be interesting to see it interpreted into a movie. I will probably wait until it's either in the cheap theater or on DVD and rent it.

Fifth.
Looks like the word filth which makes me think of how I was reminded of my ex today TWICE. Once when I went to a coffee place I only ever went to ONCE with him and again when Isaac was talking about gappy teeth. I find it funny when you are reminded of someone you don't like but were going out with and all you can remember about that person is what a shit they were, even if there could have possibly been OK times (though I honestly can't remember any time I was ever really happy when with him). It was just all wrong... basically.

Sixth.
I have decided that I WILL stay home and live here until Isaac comes and we get married. We may possibly have to stay until he gets the permit to work and gets a job. This means I have to drop my plans of moving out until we are married and all that. It is a bit strange and almost looked down upon by people to live with your parents when you are married but I will have to ignore that judgment and think about what would be best, financially. What am I in such a hurry for to go into debt anyways?

Seventh.
I like to think of as many things as I could talk about in this blog, fun.

Eighth.
The word eighth is weird because it's weird to have ghth next to each other. I just noticed as I was typing and had to point it out...

Ninth.
I want to thank everyone for their nice comments on my latest video and thank you to the people that sent me those long detailed and encouraging messages. It really does help and it's helping me relax about it a bit. I am starting to figure it out...

Money money poo poo

First of all I wanted to say... MONEY BEGGARS, LEAVE ME ALONE WHEN I'M IN MY CAR!
I hate how you think that being in your car kind of blocks strangers off from approaching you but most of us have found out that is WRONG.
So yesterday I'm in the car, about to call my friend back. All of a sudden I see a movement by my window and look up. I was kind of parked far out away from other cars so this surprised me.
It was a woman and she obviously wanted to say something so I opened my door a crack (the car wasn't on yet, which is why I didn't just roll down the window).
She automatically started with her sob story...
"My husband and I are from Los Angeles and we are traveling to see family in Washington. I'm 6 1/2 months pregnant and we have a blah blah truck (can't remember what she said) and it only runs on blah blah miles to the gallon.... could you help us out? Just any change would help..."
By the way, she didn't look at all pregnant.
So I didn't know what to do, feeling trapped, so I dug through my wallet and pulled out two dollar bills. It was the quickest thing I could do to get her to leave me alone.
"Thank you..." and she walked away.
This happens way too much and the thank you never seems at all grateful. Probably because she KNEW her little story would work. This just bothers me.
After she walked off I could see her walking to a group of cars and then she was gone so I'm guessing she got in one of the cars. I drove by where she dissappeared and guess what? Not a single truck OR car with a California license plate. What car did she get in, anyways?
I find it interesting that they waited outside of the Dollar Tree. Why not go outside some store where people with a bunch of money shop? I was shopping in there for a reason! I need those dollars, I'm running EXTREMELY low on money.

Money money... ahhh! I just need it. Isaac and I BOTH need it. Lots of it, if we want to get married.

Oh yeah a longish time ago I got new shoes and said in my blog I'd post pictures because they are different.
Carpet shoes, the guy working there called them.



Aaaaaaaaaand I also thought I'd share these pictures with you guys because I really like going here...

Pumpkin pie ice cream

DELICIOUS PUMPKIN PIE ICE CREAM!
Best brand, in my opinion, for this kind of ice cream? Oregon's own, UMPQUA! Sponsor me now, Umpqua.

What I've learned today:

• You should listen more than/as much as you speak.
• Girls interrupt each other while talking more than should be legal. Might be because there's hardly ever time, in a group, to get a word in... but sometimes it can be avoided. Sometimes your word you want in isn't very important when you think about it.
• This one coffee place I have always passed and never considered is actually great and well priced! Must go more often...
• They have free wi-fi too... I've never taken advantage of free wifi anywhere but at the library. I should do this some times... because it's cool. I could be one of those awesome people sitting with a coffee and a laptop acting like I'm doing important work. I'll actually just be on YouTube or Facebook or something but no one has to know if I sit in the corner. Knowing me, I would probably end up spilling on the keyboard and looking EVEN COOLER!
  
• There is one religion in particular that interests me and everytime I do deep down research and read about their actual stuff from ACTUAL CURRENT/FORMER MEMBERS, I can't stop! I don't mean it interests me as in I want to join them... I mean it interests me that people find ways to create these, well, cults and no one catches on to the obvious truths about them. All that money they are getting for converting people and creating new churches/temples/whatever should be used to feed hungry and SAVE HUMAN LIVES. Yes, actually help someone NOW instead of trying to save their/your life from something that happens after you are dead. Dead meaning something that no one has lived through to tell us about. SOMETHING UNCERTAIN AND UNKNOWN TO EVERYONE ALIVE. Sorry if I don't make sense with the way I am connecting my sentences. I am tired.
• I KNOW YOUR SECRETS.

So yeah. That's some of the stuff I learned/thought about today.
Oh and new video too.

Photography and depression

Yesterday I was vacuuming the couches in the house and in the cushion of this one chair, pushed really far in, was a film strip from my photography class I took in high school Sophomore year. It reminded me how much fun it is to just take pictures. I take plenty of pictures... with friends and stuff like that... but not enough of THINGS.
Ever since I found that film strip, I have been thinking about how I should take pictures of where I live. Not for you guys to see, but just for fun. To remind myself how beautiful it can be here.
Photography is fun.
I'm thinking I may even go out tomorrow for a little drive and take pictures of things. Maybe.
Other than that optimistic and random urge to take photographs, I have been pretty down lately. It's hard to be so fucking far from the man you love but I have no choice but to deal with it. Well, I could either deal with it or give up but giving up is not an option. That would just break my (and his, of course) heart...
My self esteem is going up and down a lot lately. Sometimes I feel the same depressed way I did back in high school and that scares me. I wish I could see myself as beautiful at least every once in a while. Whenever I think, "Hey, maybe I'm not that ugly!" I see a photograph or video and that idea just disappears. It's pretty stupid, really. It's not even something that should matter yet I can't help it. No matter how many people tell me otherwise, when I get that one person telling me I'm ugly and fat it just overrides all of it. I don't think that seeing yourself as beautiful can be achieved just by being told you are so but you have to be able to see it yourself. I want to... I don't think I will though.
I also feel... talentless. I have interests but as soon as I see how much I suck at them I just give up. I don't feel like trying sometimes because I feel like it's pointless. I think it's because part of me thinks talent is something you are born with, not something you learn. But another part of me think that's just partly true. I think you are born with talent and when you grow, you expand it and learn more and become better. But I don't think I was born with any talents to begin with so I don't know where to even start. No matter what, I just see what I do as a childish wannabe attempt.
And last but not least... I need a job. But I'm a little scared. Will this place be retail yet AGAIN? Will it suck like Toys R Us or will it actually be OK like JoAnns? The other day I was actually in a decent mood and felt a little hopeful about things and sent an application (w/cover letter) to this one part time receptionist job. Something different, something a little out of my comfort zone. The next day I already felt some fear about that. It's pretty annoying. I feel like other people can go out and get new jobs and maybe just get a little nervous and I end up so nervous I feel like giving up. Why do I always feel so nervous about everything and like I'm the only one who gets this way? It's not something I can just shake off...
I will stop now.

Trick or treat?!

I posted a blog a while ago but it was a million pages long so I figured I'd try to do a condensed version! Aren't you lucky?
1. I was this thing yesterday for Jen's haunted house:

and while I was at it I also painted my nieces face for her cat costume:


2. SCHTUFF

3. Isaac and I are engaged. He proposed to me on October 21st and that day was simply wonderful thanks to him. We have been keeping quiet about it on YT so it can be discovered by eagle eyes on upcoming IseAndMel videos but I figured that hardly anyone reads this so I can announce it if I want to!
3a. Because of this we are looking into all the immigration forms and fees and it is kind of crazy and confusing. He is moving here btw.
3b. I love Isaac with all my heart and I miss him so much.

4. I can't wait to move out but... I have to wait. I NEED MONEY. Lindsay and I have already talked about plans to move out together when we can. Yay!

Done.