I have spent the last few days at home on the couch. Exciting, right? I'm sicker than I have been in a LONG time. Painful coughing and sneezing, sore body, absolutely NO energy or strength, not able to sleep at night (or during the day for more than a few minutes). It has been horrible. I started feeling symptoms Saturday, then I called in sick on Sunday. Monday and Tuesday I had off from work but they were wasted on that flippin' couch. I could have sworn I would be better by today (Wednesday) but even sitting in my car in the parking lot of the library is almost too much for me to handle. This sucks.
On the brighter side of things, at least I can only hear out of one ear right now so all the kids screaming outside aren't really bothering me too much. :-s
This is starting to make me feel crazy.
At least I have lovely Penny to cuddle with all day.
It's great how working in retail really sucks every drop of fun out of the holidays. It's just so hectic and crazy and every one is just way too into all the material things for christmas and even thanksgiving. Can someone please track down the genius behind Black Friday? Oh. My. God. It's like, "Here, have a day off for Thanksgiving just so you can worry about having to wake up at unreasonable hours the next morning and work your ass off for a bunch of greedy people!" I'm just so excited, as you can tell. I have yet to work Black Friday at my current place of employment but I hear about it a lot. There are people who say they stood in line for almost an hour and a half. Why? For some insane roller coaster or an awesome concert? NO! For some flannel and yarn! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Sales are great but COME ON. Plus, many people seem to act as though these purchases are an emergency and they desperately NEED them. Really now. Calm the f down and get your priorities straight. I can't wait to see how bitchy they will act when THEY decide to go shopping before the sun comes up and THEY decided to wait in the line for something so unimportant. I just can't wait until after christmas is over. Things will go back to normal and there will be a lower amount of wolves out. Plus maybe I could have a chance to breathe.
Something I've been needing to get is a queen sized bed. You can't really expect us to share a twin when we get married, can you? Besides, it would be nice to upgrade. Well, I finally got one! Well, the mattress set anyways. Not the bed frame or anything but that's alright. I went looking all over for something affordable but still cheap. I ended up finding a floor model for a pretty good price and then when the guy mentioned shipping costs ($55), I hesitated and started wondering if I knew someone with a truck that could get it for me. Well, the man ended up lowering the price of the mattress $55! So it was like getting free shipping! I was happy about that, so of course I got it. That will be coming on Tuesday.
The bed I have now has drawers in it that I kept a bunch of stuff stored in. I realized I need to find a place to put it all and that has been making my head a'splode!
I have stuff all over this house, it seems. It wouldn't be that bad but I already have about 85% of the stuff I need to move out (which means I just need main furniture stuff and a few random items). Kitchen stuff, bathroom items, etc. I am taking up a bunch of space in my room with it, a bunch of space in the office closet, and then even more in the spare bedroom. I feel like I'm taking up way too much space but it wouldn't be that bad if I moved out and was able to put it all where it belongs! And it's good that I already have most of it so I don't have to worry later. I just really don't like having to shove so much in small spaces! Drives me nuts! So then when I need to store even small items away, I'm all out of room! So I've been spending most of tonight trying to re-organize it.
I also planned on having a yard sale this summer but it's already September and I don't know if I'll even be able to do it soon! So I might have to just Craigslist it all or something. I'm trying to get rid of a lot of random stuff.
One item I want to sell is my old (well, like 2006 old) camcorder. I hardly used it because it takes mini-dv tapes and I really don't have the patience to wait for that to import onto my computer. It's not HD or anything but it's not a webcam so I will try and sell it. Not sure how much for. If I can't sell it locally, I will probably go on Ebay.
I have BAGS and BAGS and BOXES of stuff to get rid of, a lot of which is pretty nice and I just never used so I am hoping to get a little money from it instead of just giving it away.
I hate when you've had a full day of events... but you get home to sleep and all you can think about is little things you've said or done or didn't do and you feel embarrassed or annoyed or just tired of yourself. Maybe that's just me. Headache.
I should be asleep. I work in the morning and then have plans with Lindsay after work. I want to be awake for this. But I can't. I bet you're expecting me to say something is on my mind and it is making me unable to sleep.
The truth is..
I ate one of those long tubes of Pixie Stix tonight. I bought two of them when I went to see Lindsay where she works. I haven't had Pixie Stix in a long time but it's been even longer since I've had the giant kind. I forgot that they are impossible to open without a knife or something. I spent about 10 minutes chewing on the end until it burst open.
So now I have a ton of sugar in me and I can feel it. When will I crash?
Oh wait a second. I put the window with the blog down as I went to some other sites and I am suddenly very tired so now Melody goes night-night.
I also realized recently that I say "I" a lot and start most of my sentences with it. How can I avoid that? Seriously. It's bugging me.
I created a tumblr for Isaac and myself to use for updates and stuff. Tumblr stuff, but ours. It's easier than creating our own ugly site.
I also deleted my BowieChick MySpace account because I don't have a reason for it.
I really need to clean my room. Really clean it. I only ever really go in there to get ready and sleep so I haven't really felt much like it's my place to go so I haven't kept it clean. My brain feels like a mess as well. Constantly feeling on edge and like I'm waiting for my life to really start. I miss painting and crafting and listening to music. It's all stuff that I some reason haven't had much time for. I could be listening to music now but I always feel like I'll never be able to complete an album. I don't know why, I am honestly not very busy. My head just is.
I miss my Love, Isaac.
Lately I have been uncomfortable with my own awkwardness and inability to connect at some level with other people. I haven't been keeping in contact with any friends except for Isaac (no shit), Lindsay, and Celsie. I feel badly about this but that still doesn't get me to pick up the phone and call all the others up. I love them and I don't have an explanation for that.
I realized that if I keep sitting at my house waiting for just my couple of friends to become available to do something with, I am not going to experience much. What do I want to experience? I don't know. I feel like I am supposed to be living life now and instead I am just going through a routine of working, talking to Isaac, sleeping, and possibly seeing one of my friends or just wasting gasoline in my car. As much as I love Isaac and my friends... and sleep... I don't like living every day the same exact way.
I need to see fresh faces or new places. That rhyme was not intentional.
Problem: as I've earlier mentioned, I have social problems. Besides Isaac, I haven't made any real new friends since middle or elementary school. And I met Isaac ONLINE for Pete's sake (who is Pete?). That just shows that I don't know how to make friends in the real world or talk to people for the first time. I CAN'T DO IT. I have a hard time even making bloody eye contact, unless I'm at work where I don't even feel like myself.
I feel so stuck with my low self esteem and discomfort.
All my life I have constantly heard people say I am "shy" and I FUCKING HATE being called that. Why? Because the more people say it, the more shy I get.
I am kind of going all over the place right now, I don't even know where my rant started. I can rant on and on about how ugly or lame I think I am, trust me.
Today is one of those Instant Lunch soup in a cup kind of days. I don't even like the stuff much but we have it in the house and it's easy. I don't have to think about it! Plus I have Cheez-Its in a Spiderman bowl and some iced tea. Healthy, I know. I am just so lazy today I didn't bother with breakfast, though I woke early enough that I should have had some. My stomach was gr0wling and I rather sit at the computer. It's pretty sad actually. This week, going as crappy as it already is, would be the perfect week to take my day off and go do something fun. I just don't have the willpower to get my butt out of these comfy pajamas at the moment.
When Isaac was leaving America at the end of October 2008, I already knew that 2009 was going to suck. At that time, I actually thought we'd be able to see each other at least once or twice this year but that still didn't seem like enough. That has changed. In the beginning of this year we came to the realization that we can't see each other AT ALL (in person) this year. It would cost too much and we need the money for his moving here and our marriage and everything. And immigration is stressful and hard to deal with. If a couple wasn't strong enough, this process would really split them apart I'm sure. We're doing well though, we have to work together. So if that's not sucky enough... People keep dying all over. Not just celebs, mind you. Neighbor, grandpa, people. Not people I'm necessarily that close to but still more than I'm used to. Ziggy got horribly sick and that was scary. Now my dog Daisy is really hurt in her rib area. She can't roll over or lay on her side and we can't pick her up without her crying. Plus my mom getting that twisted ovary and going to the hospital for a while with a while of thinking it could be an cancerous cyst. And while we are trying to pay that off, I had to go to the doctor for something that I won't even talk about. More money. Keep having to have my blood drawn. Even MORE money. And now taking hormone pills because I'm a man... EVEN MORE MONEY. It's hard to stay calm about this stuff when you also have to think about the fact that it's bloody expensive! Plus, Jon and Kate separating and all that shit. Seriously, that bothers me. I am officially on Kate's side of things. Jon needs to grow up. That kind of lined up with my friend Celsie and her ex. They have a wonderful daughter and were going to get married back in like May or something. Well, they broke up. They are still friends and he isn't abandoning their daughter, he takes her every other week. It's just sad.
I might just be focusing too much on the bad and not on the good but seriously, I am not liking this year. I can't wait until 2010 because I feel that will be a good one.
In other news, my 21st birthday is on the 7th of August which is a week and a day ahead. Too bad I work that day, and all the days around it.
I felt like writing a blog because even though I am vlogging everyday, I just feel more freedom in blogs. I mean, I don't even have to make sense and I don't seem to get complaints! Blogs are a little less strict.
Today was pretty boring. Nothing new there. I woke up at 10 which I hate doing. It feels too late to me. I mean, I love it if I stayed up until like 3 AM or something but ugh, I really DO like waking up at 8ish. Not surprisingly though, if I HAVE to wake up at 8ish to go to something I DON'T want to wake up. I have been waking around 10 lately and it makes me feel bad. I missed out on 2 perfectly good morning hours! And then I just end up eating a brunch instead of breakfast OR lunch and my day feels screwed.
I did go to the library though and returned my other book and got "Sloppy Firsts" by Megan McCafferty as suggested by HayleyGHoover on her blog.
I've been more into reading blogs lately, always checking my subscriptions on blogger to see if there's anything new to read. A constant reminder that I have a boring life... and that I suck at writing. Oh well, never thought I was good at it anyways. :)
I go through stages with my hair. Like the stages of not wanting to straighten it or anything and i just wear it in a naturally curly/frizzy ponytail and look like a mess. Or where I only wear it down and straight. Or only wear it UP and straight. Well as you might be able to tell I am currently in the down and curled (not natural curl, obviously) faze. I like this one, it makes me feel slightly less ugly and blah.
I am going to go through the comments on today's video and try and figure out what I am going to do tomorrow.
But first, I think I'm going to make a list. Or two. I feel like making lists, damn it! I will make it a separate post. Just because.
I didn't post a video today or yesterday which kind of ruins the whole idea of Vlogging EVERY DAY in April. Meh, people will get over it if they even care. I went into the whole thing with the idea in mind that I probably wouldn't be able to succeed in doing it every day. If I was to be doing the BLOG Every Day April, I would most likely be able to do it. The truth is, I'm a girl who doesn't like the world to see me without makeup and with my hair in an ugly unruly curly wet ponytail. Oh and in PJs. I COULD easily get all ready just to make a video but I am sick right now with a pretty annoying cold and the IDEA of doing that is enough to make my head hurt. Oh well, it's not the end of the world. Or even the month. I will still try to make as many videos as I can this month. I haven't completely given up on VEDA. Or even Vlog ALMOST Every Day April. VAEDA. It's an interesting experience and challenge.
I eat so much when I have a cold. It's pretty pathetic actually. At least I got some healthy food in today, haha.
I'm not sure when I will be starting work yet. I went in on Wednesday just to talk to the manager and get things sorted but I guess she wasn't able to "get me back in the system" until today. Whatever that means. I will go in tomorrow just to sign something and that's all I know. It may take a couple weeks to get me on the schedule. That would make sense, considering the schedules for these two weeks are already posted. Hmm. It will feel so strange going back there. I left with the idea in my head that I wasn't going back and that my last day was my LAST DAY THERE. Not that I'm dreading going back, it will just be weird. Will it feel like going back in time 6ish months? I already feel kind of like that when I just go in to walk around! I think it took me so long to go back just because I felt this fear of admitting in some way that I should have never left and that even though I some reason thought I could find better, I ended up in a crap job with hardly any money. Before I left, when I put in my two weeks notice, the manager told me that I could instead just take a month off while Isaac was here! That's an amazing opportunity. I mean, how many retail stores in America give someone that has only been there like 5 months a chance to take a month off and still have the job? That's hard to find, really. I am sure another reason I didn't just take that opportunity is because I'm kind of stubborn I guess. I already had it settled in my brain that I was leaving. I will always remember this one day I went in to pick up my last paycheck. Isaac was with me (we also got some green fabric for a green screen but it has yet to be tested!) and he waited downstairs. I went up with one of the managers. She is one of those people who I just got the feeling didn't like me. I am bad with feelings though, I just assume most people don't like me. Anyways, we went upstairs to the office and I was signing some papers when she said, "I really miss having you here". Or something along those lines. I didn't know how to react, I wasn't expecting it at all. And there's another one that I had some problems with in the beginning. The basic story of that is that I called in sick and must have gotten on her wrong nerve. She assumed I was faking and the way she spoke to me made me feel horrible. But as time went on, she made a point to tell me that I have really proven myself to her. Now going back in there and having them seem happy to see me is just so wonderful. I didn't realize how great I had it there! I just don't have that confidence that I am good enough and when I am appreciated by people I work with/for, it makes me unbelievably happy. I think I got pretty lucky with that job and the people that work there. I am curious to know what all those new women are like though. I hope none of them dislike me too much! Haha. "Who's this new person coming in acting like they already know everything??" I wonder if I will eventually remember how to use the machines again.
I think Isaac was just doing a bit of the "Single Ladies" song. Haha!
First I have to say, "OMG PLAIN BORING BLOG LAYOUT!" Yeah. I accidentally deleted the header from the HTML and then messed with the layout and then went, "Blah!" and now it's just header-less and lame blog. You may be wondering why I don't just upload the header again but I don't have it saved on this computer and am too lazy to get it right now. So it'll just be this way for a while until I change it.
So I've been really thinking about how little I.. well.. think about making videos for YouTube. There was a time when I thought about it quite a lot and had a constant want to make vlogs or some strange idea for some funky video. It was just fun. But now I don't have that. In fact, the idea of making videos now kind of makes me feel nervous and a little scared. And bored. I was like, "What's that all about??" But when I really think about it I feel like I know part of the reason. Or reasons. YouTube has [almost] always had this semi-competition feeling on it. Sure, people used to think the person with 1,000 subscribers was cool and wanted to get at least 10 more than them. And that idea is still there only now it's the person with 100,000 subscribers that still want more! I've never really been into that competition mindset of it. I don't like that. No fun for me! Just like popularity contests in school or something. But the biggest thing is that NOW these people have a purpose. THEY ARE EARNING MORE MONEY WITH EACH VIEW. Oh YouTube partnership, how lovely you are. I admit that I have tried signing up for a partnership but was denied since I don't get enough views. Oh well. I just wonder how many of these people would be putting so much work and dedication into their stuff if it wasn't for the possibility of getting a little (or a lot) of cash off it. Or even semi-fame. When I started YouTube this wasn't even a idea in my head. Fame off YouTube? Money from videos? What's that? It was all about just doing it because we were bored and it filled some free time. It was fun. You may be wondering why this takes away my desire. I wonder too. I just feel like seeing all these people that are making stuff off their videos and have that motivation make me feel completely pointless. Why am I on there? I don't feel the need to try to compete with them to get to the top. I don't feel the need to put on an amazing show to get an ego boost and win out all those people. It just doesn't seem important. At all. I used to make fun videos every once in a while. Like just being silly and acting or something but I think I've just grown out of that all. I haven't really had any desire to do those things. I did for a while have this idea for a Zoey video but I suddenly started hearing in my head all these future comments about me "trying" to be like Fred. Zoey was first, dumbass. Anyways. Plus, the more I thought about it the less I found it amusing for me to do. One thing I still do like doing and always have is making music videos. Problem? Well every day more and more of people's videos with copyrighted music are being deleted. This sucks. Really sucks. Stop taking the fun out of music. And NO I'm not going to find music I have the rights too! I WANT TO DO VIDEOS TO MUSIC I ACTUALLY LOVE!
K80Blog basically explains how I feel about it all in this video, so you better watch it:
She doesn't really start talking about it until about 2:45ish but watch the whole video anyways. I got Isaac to watch a bunch of her stuff today and he liked it. Yay!
So for those of you who aren't friends with me on MySpace or don't watch IseAndMel OR follow me on twitter may not know that I was hacked 2 days ago. First thing in the morning I tried to sign into my email but it said my password was wrong. I didn't think much of it, even after retrying the password a bunch. I thought maybe hotmail was just having issues. But then I went to YouTube and saw that I was strangely signed out. If you are on YouTube, you might know that it doesn't sign you out unless you sign yourself out. I am hardly EVER signed out. And when I tried logging on? Said I had the wrong password. So from this I realized it was only my BowieChick youtube and not my other two so I knew it wasn't something wrong with the computer. I was, at the time, able to get onto my personal myspace but NOT my BowieChick MySpace. I also couldn't get into my OTHER email. This really freaked me out at first. Customer service seemed to suck everywhere and I was really flipping out. But I had to go to work as I just had to wonder what was going on. When I got home, I was able to get ONE of my emails back. It was the one connected to my BowieChick MySpace page and my Facebook (which was also "hacked") so I was able to get back into those. Then eventually yesterday morning I got the OTHER email back and all the VARIOUS websites that they decided to get into with that email. Well when I got back into my personal myspace I saw I had a message from "BowieChick". My other myspace account. If I didn't have to work I would have seen this message earlier! This is what it said: " You wont know me, but your email address password was posted on a message board for everybody to see, I got onto your account and changed the password to "nohack", so that nobody could hack you. I'm sorry I had to hack in myself and I thought that logging into this was the only way to let you know. Your password for this is the same but you may want to change the email one and this one.
Then find out who it was who managed to get the details in the first place. " Yeah so that's what happened. WHY would someone want MY info in the first place? Also, WHY would someone post it online? AND WHY ARE THERE SO MANY IMMATURE ASSHOLES IN THIS WORLD? They are fail. They DEFINE fail. Hackers, you suck. Grow up. Grow a brain and a heart while you're at it.
I got all my stuff back because these losers can't win. Oh and BTW. To whoever has done this: I am getting the notices that you are trying to reset my passwords again. Move on or I WILL find out who you are.
Anyways. On from that subject. I LOVE pinapple and bananas but both make the roof of my mouth hurt. Oy.
I can't believe it's going to be about a year until I get to see Isaac again. This is torture. But a year apart is nothing when I think about all the years we will get to be together. :) Which reminds me. So many people have already joined Long Distance Love! Some people may wonder why I even bothered making it when there are many relationship groups online. Well, because there's more to a LDR than just a "normal" relationship. It doesn't matter if the distance is a few hours or a few thousand miles, there's just some stuff that is different that some people don't understand. So many people treat LDRs like they are nothing or unimportant or not real when in fact they ARE and it's nice to be around others who understand that. Best wishes to Ashley and Mikey who are meeting for the first time in about a week! Have fun!
For about an hour or an hour and a halfish I have had this strange feeling that something isn't right or that something is going to happen. I feel really anxious about this and can't concentrate on anything else and nothing is able to distract me from this feeling. I don't like this. I really don't like this. I hope it passes and that it isn't some sort of 6th sense kind of thing. Please. GO AWAY, STUPID ANNOYING ANXIOUS HORRIBLE FEELING!
Ok so I just read this comment left by Christina on my last blog: "Melody, I have had a similar situation happen to me once, and I am willing to bet I know what happend! There is this website you can go to... www.prankdial.com where you can type in ANY number and ANY name and This computer thing will call the phone number you enter and The caller I.D. will show up as whoever the fuck you want it to show up as. My friend tried this on me once and She later confessed that she had done it. Go to the site and check it out for yourself, I am willing to bet someone found out who he was and Decided to fuck with your life. some people have no lives."
There is a possibility this happened. If that is the case than I must say: Leave that 'poor' guy alone. He clearly can't take a joke, whatever it was that happened.
If anyone on here somehow managed to track down who my ex is, please just confess now. I just got this message from him on MySpace: "Next time I get a call from you at 4 in the morning, you will have the police at your house to deal with. Grow up." Now imagine YOU got a message like this.... WHEN YOU NEVER CALLED IN THE FIRST PLACE. It's so strange being accused of something and when the person sounds so sure of what they are accusing you of. So very strange. And random. I almost wish he WOULD have just contacted the police to begin with. I mean, if he did he would be proven wrong and this would be over. Though it would piss me off to be woken up that early by the police for no reason at all. I was just talking to my mom about it trying to theorize how or why he would think I called him. Did someone call him and say something about being me? Why would I call and say it was me? Did the phone number look like mine? It's not like I even HAVE his number. I won't be able to rest until I know what's going on here.
I am tired but at the same time I don't want to go to bed. I have no reason NOT to sleep. Just being a computer junky. I just keep going from website to website hoping there will be something interesting to look at but nothing yet....
I would like to thank K80Blog for making it so that I can no longer listen to Tiny Dancer without thinking, "Hold me closer Tony Danza!" I woke up to that song today on the radio and have had it stuck in my head all day. Danza version. Oh funny thing is that when my alarm went off (since it WAS 4 in the morning) I initially, while still in half-sleep state, thought that the alarm was just warning me that it was going to go off in another hour or two. It's a good thing I woke up and into reality before I turned it off and slept through work. Oh dear early morning/late night work! You are amazing for my brain.
I had fun with BlogTV and I've scheduled to go on THIS FRIDAY at 2:15 PM PST/5:15 EST. I couldn't decide between 2 and 2:30 so I met in the middle.
I just realized I still had my alarm on for 4:20 even though I don't have to be up early tomorrow. I would have been pissed with myself if I woke up to the alarm in the morning. No alarm! PLEASE! I love waking up naturally...
Ok THAT'S IT! I'm going to log into the BowieChick MySpace (where I am bound to find plenty of surveys in the bulletins) and just do one of the first I see. That will be my next blog. No one will care about it BUT I'M BORED AND CRAZY AND RESTLESS! The endish.
All my life I have gotten strangers telling me I look tired. Thank you! How nice of you. Most of the time when they ask this I had a wonderful amount of sleep! It's because of my dumb eyes. That simple. Ever since probably middle school or so I have been asked by many people if I am currently high. Many of them refuse to believe when I say no! I am not high! I was even asked recently when I was working at a local store by a guy that worked there. How can I take this as anything but an insult? Especially when I have never done any sort of drug and proud of it. And all based on what? My droopy/baggy eyes and my calmer/mellow nature? That's just me.
Sorry for that short rant there. I was just thinking about this and how much it bothers me. I didn't choose the way I look and I hate that it automatically makes people make all these assumptions about me.
I want my brain to calm down because I can't seem to relax tonight. I think it's because Isaac went to bed earlier today and I didn't get a chance to talk to him. Since it's pretty much part of my daily schedule to talk to him every night I think part of me is still expecting that and won't rest until I get a chance. It has been a long night and it's only 10.
Oh our water heater is leaking (again, it has done this before) and luckily I caught onto it before it got as bad as last time. Last time it happened it got a huge area of our living room all wet and pretty much ruined the carpet. This time I happened to walk by the area to get to a closet and felt a little dampness. Ugh. So no hot water for now.
I have been so lazy these last couple of days. Partly because I have just been not feeling well and also because... well I don't really have an excuse. I have been just pondering things more than anything and snuggling up to stay warm. I need sun and a nice walk. I also need Isaac...
I think I'm going to maybe watch tv or something. I wonder if anything is even on...
For a couple months now I will have many many random nights where I will be fine BEFORE bed but as soon as I try to sleep I start feeling a bit nauseous. I will try to ignore it and fall asleep but many times, the feeling of falling asleep makes me burst out of bed thinking I'm going to throw up... but I never do. It normally just takes a few tries and I will fall asleep and wake up fine as though the nausea never happened. But not tonight. Tonight I was only able to sleep for about 30 minutes (at most!) and other than that, I've been just tossing and turning and constantly feeling like I'm about to barf. I got some water and an emergency bowl just in case but I really don't know if I will throw up. Now I'm sitting here and my stomach hurts but it's not the same as when I try falling asleep. I've been trying since 10! It's 2:48 now and I need to wake up in about 3 hours (at the latest) to go to work. This really sucks. Really really sucks. I don't know what it is but come on I would like it to go away and I really would like some sleep. I got tired of just lying there and jumping up every time my head starts to finally doze off so I came on here. I am freezing right now too! Our house is so cold. I can't stay warm but EVERY time I bundle up just right and start to relax even a little, I just end up quickly getting up again feeling like I'm going to throw up! I'm even trying sleeping sitting up which normally works but it isn't this time. The night before I have to work pretty early. Go figure.
Isn't it funny when "loyal" subscribers end up being more judgmental and just plain annoying than the "haters"? This person found it appropriate to leave not one, not two, but three lovely comments. Comment 1: "who's isaac? how long have u been together? how old r u again?" This is funny because I have seen this person commenting on plenty of my videos so he MUST know who Isaac is. In fact, I found this comment on my "Today - Jefferson Airplane (For Isaac)" video. "i wish you were single, cuz i think you're cute." In which, at the time, I responded with, "That is a mean thing to wish. I do not wish I was single because I am in love and it's not like you would have me anyways. It seems like you are wishing I wasn't happy. Stop thinking about what you want and be happy for what others have." And he said, "that's a very smart answer. Thanks for putting me in my place. Sorry I was being selfish.
Congrats on finding the man of your dreams and I wish u all the best.
Sorry"
So it is apparent that he knows who Isaac is but it looks like some sort of stupid jealousy is pushing him to say these things.
Age and length of time don't even have anything to do with this anyways. Especially when the couple KNOWS how much they are truly in love...
Comment 2: "your income is not an issue. his may be because they don't want him to become a drain on social resources. All you need to do is prove you can support yourself financialy and won't be a welfare couple"
Well this has proven to be false. I need to be able to support him when he comes. The end.
Comment 3: "but you REALLY SHOULD NOT get married till you've lived on your own and experienced life AWAY from your parents. Marriage is for responsible adults who don't need to rely on their parents. What the heck is your rush?
P.S. This video was a rambling mess. You are way too young to get married ok? Grow up, get a job, move out, find out who you really are before latching on to a boy you have a crush on."
This person is seriously just talking shit now. He really has no idea what the hell he is saying. So many people have gone straight from living at home to being married with no issues. Just because you know someone that may have had problems with that does not make it the majority. Even if it WAS the majority, Isaac and I AREN'T the majority. Our "rush" is because we know NOW that we love each other and are ready for married life. Besides, don't talk until you yourself is in a fucking long distance relationship. Then try telling me we are rushing to anything. We can't RUSH. It's not an option when immigration things are thrown in. I mean, if I was in a rush I wouldn't even be bothering with figuring out this immigration stuff. We are going to get married until 2010 anyways! Holy hell. No shit it was a rambling mess, no need to point that out. I'm not way too young to get married, you're just strangely jealous and judgmental. I know who I am and this is not a FUCKING CRUSH. STOP FUCKING JUDGING WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW.
Sorry this just pissed me off to no end. It just bugs me that there are people like this out there. And he couldn't make it more fucking obvious that it is brought on by jealousy.
And to show what a dick he is, and I never quite noticed... Here's a comment on another old video: "show us where u work baby "
Blocked.
Haha, just saw his videos. Damn, I shouldn't have blocked him. He seems like a winner!!!!!
First of all if you know anything about fiance visas and getting married to someone from another country please watch this and maybe help me out:
Second. I am tired of this end of the world stuff. Having end of the world theories is not something new, as we should all know, so we shouldn't buy into any of this hype. Even if it WAS true, what could we do about it? I say we just DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! It adds to stress and worry. Even hearing my friend theorize about it today made it impossible to leave my brain and it just makes me feel horrible. Keep your theories to yourself, or at least don't take them so seriously. If everyone took it seriously, we would just give up on living our lives happily. I mean, what's the point when the world is going to end? WE MUST PREPARE! Why work towards a long term goal, anyways? That's the way it makes me feel.
Third. I can't find a job! I may have to go crazy with making as many ExpoTV videos this month as I am allowed (what is it? 10 or something?) to get some extra money because besides my money in savings (which I am NOT touching now) I am just about... penniless. I should try again selling my art on Etsy too. Hopefully someone will buy one or something. Last time I tried, someone tried buying one but not someone I will allow to buy from me. I don't have to worry about that anymore because I got help from a person working at Etsy.
Fourth. I kind of want to see Twilight. Some people said it was crap, some said it was good. All I know if that I like the books (well, the first two I have read anyways) and it would be interesting to see it interpreted into a movie. I will probably wait until it's either in the cheap theater or on DVD and rent it.
Fifth. Looks like the word filth which makes me think of how I was reminded of my ex today TWICE. Once when I went to a coffee place I only ever went to ONCE with him and again when Isaac was talking about gappy teeth. I find it funny when you are reminded of someone you don't like but were going out with and all you can remember about that person is what a shit they were, even if there could have possibly been OK times (though I honestly can't remember any time I was ever really happy when with him). It was just all wrong... basically.
Sixth. I have decided that I WILL stay home and live here until Isaac comes and we get married. We may possibly have to stay until he gets the permit to work and gets a job. This means I have to drop my plans of moving out until we are married and all that. It is a bit strange and almost looked down upon by people to live with your parents when you are married but I will have to ignore that judgment and think about what would be best, financially. What am I in such a hurry for to go into debt anyways?
Seventh. I like to think of as many things as I could talk about in this blog, fun.
Eighth. The word eighth is weird because it's weird to have ghth next to each other. I just noticed as I was typing and had to point it out...
Ninth. I want to thank everyone for their nice comments on my latest video and thank you to the people that sent me those long detailed and encouraging messages. It really does help and it's helping me relax about it a bit. I am starting to figure it out...
