Play that funky music white boy..

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii there readers. Wow, I really dragged that one on.
I just woke up, if that makes any difference. I don't work today which is wonderful but I always spend the first half (if not all) of my days off of work being very slow and lazy.
Yesterday at work was one of those "this is the day that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends!..." kind of days. Oh man, I felt like going to the back room and hiding there a couple times. It just wasn't fun at all. Me and the other lady at the cutting counter almost didn't get to go on our breaks because we kept asking over and over for someone to come and help at the cutting counter so that one of us could go but no one would EVER respond. Not even to say, "Sorry, we're all busy!" They WOULD respond if we asked them any other question though meaning they COULD HEAR US. Made me angry. We eventually went on our breaks way after they were supposed to be when another lady arrived to work. Thank you.

So what has happened since my last update?
Oh!

On September 16th, Isaac had his visa interview at the US Embassy in London. All went well except for one thing that I didn't do. I didn't get a paper notarized. I'll do that today when I bring my check into the bank. SO when I send that to him and then he sends it along with his passport to the embassy, he will then have the visa! Next step in this process would be for him to pack his stuff that he's sending over here and finding the best/cheapest way to send it all.

On the 18th, Lindsay invited me to see a band her co-worker's in called "Funkamungus". It was at Stillwater in Ashland which is a small dark bar that took ages to find. We were looking for some sort of sign but never saw one. Instead, we just saw the address painted on the side. I wasn't really expecting much, to be honest. When we arrived at around 8 (when the doors opened) and the show was to start at 9. At first we just looked in only to see a couple people so we went on a little walk and then came back. When we came back, there was slightly more people so we went in and waited. During the wait, the crowd grew. Finally at about 9:15 or so, they started.
At first I just felt awkward there... as I do anywhere. We kept trying to find a place in the growing crowd to view from but we were always ending up by the water cooler, the back room door, etc. Just constantly having to move out of the way for people. Just way too small in there for all those people!
We then left to Albertsons to get out for a moment and when we came back in it was like a wall of heat hit us when we walked in. It felt as though you can't breathe!
After they had a little break and they opened some doors for air, we moved to a better location. There's where we actually got into it and I had a blast dancing to the funky music! Oh man, why aren't there more funk bands? Seriously, I had so much fun and everyone there was enjoying it as much as I was. Everyone was a dancing fool, seriously. I didn't care that I was in a big group of strangers (ahh social problemsssssss!) and it was super hot in there. We left at midnight because Lindsay had to get home so we didn't get to see the whole thing.
Ok that was my experience but what about the band? Were they actually any good?
YES! The band website had their bios which need to be updated because there are a couple people that are different. They had a trumpet player which isn't on there and a different singer. They really got into the music and looked like they were having a party on stage as well just dancing and laughing. They were really entertaining for me.
I do like funk music but since I've never heard anyone play it live, I didn't know I like it as much as I do.
So thank you, Funkamungus.

There are pictures on their website from that night. Unfortunately, you can't hear the music or feel the vibe of the crowd in them. You can't even really tell how much everyone was dancing! So thank you, Lindsay, for inviting me.

On the 21st we had a bunch of fires in our area which was scary.

Other than that, I haven't had much going on.

I'm a bitch

I miss painting and crafty stuff. I really do have the time for it but I normally just end up getting out of the house because I don't feel like wasting summer any more than I already am. That's probably why so many more people do those things (and sew) in the winter. You're trapped inside anyway so why not?
The clean up process after making the mess is also a bummer. I can't help but think about how much of a pain it is to clean out paint brushes and all of that stuff when I'm done and I don't even want to make the mess anymore. Where can I get a free maid that will do all this for me? Meh.
In that sense, I am excited for fall and winter. At the same time I feel as though I haven't had much of a summer. It's not as though I ever really did any of my life. I've always been a nerd that just hid away waiting for summer to end. The main reason is because I had/have hyperhidrosis which is completely embarrassing and in summer I couldn't hide it with a jacket. Fortunately, that's not something I have to deal with as much anymore but it took years to mentally recover from the humiliation and problems it caused.
Still, I don't have many friends (only 2 I've seen in MONTHS) and it's pretty hard having fun when you're alone. I just wish I could have a fun summery summer for once and not regret wasting it all away being a loser. !97297927 (*@&982729 (*&2 298eoiywhdjkc

It's getting harder and harder for me to work at the type of job I have. The idea of me doing it for a few more years or my whole life kills me. It's not the co-workers, I just have a really really REALLY hard time dealing with customers. I complain about them often enough on here. Just sitting here, I feel like screaming or crying thinking about how much a pain so many of them seem to be. It might actually just be a few but they really stick out in my head and I automatically just view all customers as this way. I am sick of the ones that treat me like crap and assume I make the rules of the store I work at. NEWS FLASH: I don't! I am also not the one that supplies the store with merchandise so I have NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT WHAT YOU WANT IS GONE OR DOESN'T EXIST!
It's also getting harder for me to keep my cool with them. I used to be able to smile or treat them nicely until they left but this anger bottled up in me and I used to cry after work... a lot. Now, if a customer is so rude to me that I can't handle it, I don't bother being nice. It's not as though I yell at them or call them anything rude to their face, I just give them a cold shoulder. This isn't professional but they should learn to treat people better. It's a good thing I don't serve food, I'm sure you could imagine what I'd do with that. :)




It's always the quiet ones you have to look out for.

I'm a loser.

I created a tumblr for Isaac and myself to use for updates and stuff. Tumblr stuff, but ours. It's easier than creating our own ugly site.

I also deleted my BowieChick MySpace account because I don't have a reason for it.

I really need to clean my room. Really clean it. I only ever really go in there to get ready and sleep so I haven't really felt much like it's my place to go so I haven't kept it clean.
My brain feels like a mess as well. Constantly feeling on edge and like I'm waiting for my life to really start.
I miss painting and crafting and listening to music.
It's all stuff that I some reason haven't had much time for. I could be listening to music now but I always feel like I'll never be able to complete an album. I don't know why, I am honestly not very busy. My head just is.

I miss my Love, Isaac.

Lately I have been uncomfortable with my own awkwardness and inability to connect at some level with other people. I haven't been keeping in contact with any friends except for Isaac (no shit), Lindsay, and Celsie. I feel badly about this but that still doesn't get me to pick up the phone and call all the others up. I love them and I don't have an explanation for that.

I realized that if I keep sitting at my house waiting for just my couple of friends to become available to do something with, I am not going to experience much. What do I want to experience? I don't know. I feel like I am supposed to be living life now and instead I am just going through a routine of working, talking to Isaac, sleeping, and possibly seeing one of my friends or just wasting gasoline in my car. As much as I love Isaac and my friends... and sleep... I don't like living every day the same exact way.

I need to see fresh faces or new places. That rhyme was not intentional.

Problem: as I've earlier mentioned, I have social problems. Besides Isaac, I haven't made any real new friends since middle or elementary school. And I met Isaac ONLINE for Pete's sake (who is Pete?). That just shows that I don't know how to make friends in the real world or talk to people for the first time. I CAN'T DO IT. I have a hard time even making bloody eye contact, unless I'm at work where I don't even feel like myself.

I feel so stuck with my low self esteem and discomfort.

All my life I have constantly heard people say I am "shy" and I FUCKING HATE being called that. Why? Because the more people say it, the more shy I get.

I am kind of going all over the place right now, I don't even know where my rant started. I can rant on and on about how ugly or lame I think I am, trust me.

Tired, but still sober

I am tired and can't wait for a day or two or four off. ;)
Even with short shifts, it still messes with my days. Waking up earlier or whatever, having to make plans around it, and then thinking about my next day at work.
I really can't complain, it's a job. Plus, I begged for this job back. Well, not really. I just went in and said "HEY!" and got it back. Not exactly like that but it may as well have been. Still, I appreciate my job but I can never get used to CUSTOMERS. You, customers, are the reason it's hard to go to work. You, customers, are the reason I want to hide in a corner and wimper.
Don't worry, I know that most customers are just human but those few/hundred that come in daily and don't have anything better to do than make me feel like shit are really making me bitter about ALL customers. Sorry about that, I don't hate you all. :)
Anyone in any kind of customer service job can probably relate. Oh the horror. Oh the minimum wage. Oh.
So I'm 21 now. Not much exciting about that. I don't drink and haven't drank anything yet. No, seriously. Ever. In my life. Haven't had alcohol. Never felt the need or anything and never set myself in an environment where people were drinking. Plus, I kind of liked knowing that I am/was a rare breed - under aged people that didn't drink alcohol. Even when I checked "No" next to "drinks alcohol" on a questionnaire at the doctor's office, the doctor assumed I just didn't want to say yes and get in trouble for being under 21. Psh, my answer IS no.
Now, that's not to say that I thought everyone that drank as a teenager is inferior or stupid. I just didn't feel like I needed to. Though I must say that I will never understand people who only seem to hang out with friends if they are drinking. I see it on MySpace on the time. It seems like people only have pictures of themselves at partys with a drink in their hands acting careless. I even remember this in high school.
But now that that has been said, I will most likely drink some time soon. I mean, I'm 21. I've reached my "goal". I remember when I was a child and told myself I wouldn't drink until I was old enough. It's not as though I had to consiously remind myself all the time of this or that I felt pressured by society to. It stuck with me, that's all. We will see how this goes. >_<
And now, I shall go. I'm so bloody tired. I have no idea why I'm even up or why I typed a blog when I rather be in bed. I have been tired since I woke up early this morning! Crazy Melody.

2009 Sucks

When Isaac was leaving America at the end of October 2008, I already knew that 2009 was going to suck. At that time, I actually thought we'd be able to see each other at least once or twice this year but that still didn't seem like enough.
That has changed. In the beginning of this year we came to the realization that we can't see each other AT ALL (in person) this year. It would cost too much and we need the money for his moving here and our marriage and everything. And immigration is stressful and hard to deal with. If a couple wasn't strong enough, this process would really split them apart I'm sure. We're doing well though, we have to work together.
So if that's not sucky enough...
People keep dying all over. Not just celebs, mind you. Neighbor, grandpa, people. Not people I'm necessarily that close to but still more than I'm used to. Ziggy got horribly sick and that was scary. Now my dog Daisy is really hurt in her rib area. She can't roll over or lay on her side and we can't pick her up without her crying.
Plus my mom getting that twisted ovary and going to the hospital for a while with a while of thinking it could be an cancerous cyst.
And while we are trying to pay that off, I had to go to the doctor for something that I won't even talk about. More money. Keep having to have my blood drawn. Even MORE money. And now taking hormone pills because I'm a man... EVEN MORE MONEY. It's hard to stay calm about this stuff when you also have to think about the fact that it's bloody expensive!
Plus, Jon and Kate separating and all that shit. Seriously, that bothers me. I am officially on Kate's side of things. Jon needs to grow up.
That kind of lined up with my friend Celsie and her ex. They have a wonderful daughter and were going to get married back in like May or something. Well, they broke up. They are still friends and he isn't abandoning their daughter, he takes her every other week. It's just sad.

I might just be focusing too much on the bad and not on the good but seriously, I am not liking this year. I can't wait until 2010 because I feel that will be a good one.

In other news, my 21st birthday is on the 7th of August which is a week and a day ahead. Too bad I work that day, and all the days around it.

Bubblegum ice cream 'n' things (Picture Blog)

I looove bubblegum ice cream. I can't explain why, I just think it's wonderful. Maybe because it's not an easy find. Maybe because it brings back memories of getting it as a kid. Whatever it is, it's awesome. Both of those are bubblegum ice cream, both from the same place. Sometimes they have pink sometimes blue. My mom sometimes takes me (either just us or with niece and nephew) to this one supermarket that also sells ice cream by the scoop. If you're like me, you agree that most ice cream places are a HUGE RIPOFF. I mean, most charge the same for one tiny scoop as it would cost to just buy a WHOLE carton of ice cream. But can you believe that ice cream cone is what they call a "one scoop"? AND IT COST $1.20! I'm not kidding you! This place is seriously the best in the whole world. YES! Though "one scoop" on a cone is definitely more than you get in a bowl so I will always go for the cone.
My nephew really enjoyed his child size chocolate ice cream too:

HAHA!


Peter and Ziggy are just chillin'. Peter recently went through his first molt since I've had him which is why he has all those pinfeathers on his head and his cere looks flaky. Pinfeathers never look that nice but he will always be cute!
Both him and Ziggy have been pretty um... *clears throat*... randy lately. Not with each other or anything... yet... but with toys. They both have a different toy that they have been humping like animals... because they are animals. It's funny because Ziggy never did that before until Peter was in there. I never thought that she would, being a girl and all. Oh well, it's pretty funny to see them do. I don't think they will start going after each other anytime soon. They do feed each other which looks like kissing but as soon as Peter tries getting too close to Ziggy, she'll attack him. Poor thing. He has learned to defend himself a bit though but knows to just get out of her way. Ziggy has permanant birdie PMS.


And here's me with my friend Jackson. Isaac and I got him from the Family Fun Center or something, if I remember correctly. He accompanies me in my car every day. There is no reason as to why I am making that face. None at all.


I have had many of these coins since I was in elementary school. I don't know why and I don't know what to do with them either. They just sit in a box in a drawer. There are a couple from Isaac, if you couldn't guess, but the rest have no significance. I have never been to the places and there are a few that I can't even figure out what country they are from! Bahh! I also have a bunch of "fancy" rocks in the same box. What am I supposed to do with it all??

Going through old diaries...

So I was going through my old diaries and it makes me sad that I was so pathetic. Always talking about how fat I was (even when I wasn't) or about how much I wanted a boyfriend. And then WITH these "boyfriends" how I said I was in love and blah blah but um no. And I knew I wasn't but said I was. With most I would even lie in the diary, "Yeah I love him blah blah" but I remember knowing I wasn't in love. I just kept saying it for who knows what reason.
The worst one is actually about the infamous "Breakup" dude. Within the first month or so of going out with him I already said a bunch of things hinting that I wasn't so sure about how I felt about him. And then about halfway through the relationship on about 2/3 of the entries that even mentioned him were me saying how I didn't think I loved him and felt like it was too late because we already said all the time that we loved each other. It's funny how the DAY AFTER he broke up with me I already said in my journal how I was happy to be free because I felt trapped. At least I was honest with my diary at that time. I had to tell someone the truth.
This makes me wonder why I allowed myself to feel that way. Why didn't I just end it?
And just looking at my journals I see how boy crazy I was in middle-high school. Always having crushes that changed weekly and my choice in all of them SUCKED. Why did I waste my time with this? I really wish I would have spent all those years concentrating on something else. I wish I had more to talk about in my old diaries than boys and how much I hated myself.
But I think it was all related. Having crushes that never spoke to me or bad relationships that just made me feel worse leading to me hating myself more but hating myself could have also been the thing that got me in those situations.

I can honestly say now that I no longer hate myself AND that I am truly in love. I have thrown that word around so much in the past, I've realized, but for once I really do mean it with all my heart. "Love" has a whole new meaning to me, I don't feel like I've wasted it or something. I've just used it incorrectly before because I thought I had to say it.

Ok Melody, stop rambling.
I love you Isaac.

Why I haven't been Tubin' much.

First I have to say, "OMG PLAIN BORING BLOG LAYOUT!"
Yeah. I accidentally deleted the header from the HTML and then messed with the layout and then went, "Blah!" and now it's just header-less and lame blog. You may be wondering why I don't just upload the header again but I don't have it saved on this computer and am too lazy to get it right now. So it'll just be this way for a while until I change it.

So I've been really thinking about how little I.. well.. think about making videos for YouTube.
There was a time when I thought about it quite a lot and had a constant want to make vlogs or some strange idea for some funky video. It was just fun.
But now I don't have that. In fact, the idea of making videos now kind of makes me feel nervous and a little scared. And bored.
I was like, "What's that all about??"
But when I really think about it I feel like I know part of the reason. Or reasons.
YouTube has [almost] always had this semi-competition feeling on it. Sure, people used to think the person with 1,000 subscribers was cool and wanted to get at least 10 more than them. And that idea is still there only now it's the person with 100,000 subscribers that still want more!
I've never really been into that competition mindset of it. I don't like that. No fun for me! Just like popularity contests in school or something.
But the biggest thing is that NOW these people have a purpose. THEY ARE EARNING MORE MONEY WITH EACH VIEW. Oh YouTube partnership, how lovely you are.
I admit that I have tried signing up for a partnership but was denied since I don't get enough views. Oh well.
I just wonder how many of these people would be putting so much work and dedication into their stuff if it wasn't for the possibility of getting a little (or a lot) of cash off it. Or even semi-fame.
When I started YouTube this wasn't even a idea in my head. Fame off YouTube? Money from videos? What's that?
It was all about just doing it because we were bored and it filled some free time. It was fun.
You may be wondering why this takes away my desire. I wonder too. I just feel like seeing all these people that are making stuff off their videos and have that motivation make me feel completely pointless. Why am I on there?
I don't feel the need to try to compete with them to get to the top. I don't feel the need to put on an amazing show to get an ego boost and win out all those people. It just doesn't seem important. At all.
I used to make fun videos every once in a while. Like just being silly and acting or something but I think I've just grown out of that all. I haven't really had any desire to do those things. I did for a while have this idea for a Zoey video but I suddenly started hearing in my head all these future comments about me "trying" to be like Fred. Zoey was first, dumbass. Anyways. Plus, the more I thought about it the less I found it amusing for me to do.
One thing I still do like doing and always have is making music videos. Problem? Well every day more and more of people's videos with copyrighted music are being deleted. This sucks. Really sucks. Stop taking the fun out of music. And NO I'm not going to find music I have the rights too! I WANT TO DO VIDEOS TO MUSIC I ACTUALLY LOVE!

K80Blog basically explains how I feel about it all in this video, so you better watch it:


She doesn't really start talking about it until about 2:45ish but watch the whole video anyways.
I got Isaac to watch a bunch of her stuff today and he liked it. Yay!

Part II of Haha what the heck?

Ok so I just read this comment left by Christina on my last blog:
"Melody,
I have had a similar situation happen to me once, and I am willing to bet I know what happend!
There is this website you can go to... www.prankdial.com where you can type in ANY number and ANY name and This computer thing will call the phone number you enter and The caller I.D. will show up as whoever the fuck you want it to show up as. My friend tried this on me once and She later confessed that she had done it. Go to the site and check it out for yourself, I am willing to bet someone found out who he was and Decided to fuck with your life.
some people have no lives."

There is a possibility this happened. If that is the case than I must say: Leave that 'poor' guy alone. He clearly can't take a joke, whatever it was that happened.

Haha what the heck?

If anyone on here somehow managed to track down who my ex is, please just confess now.
I just got this message from him on MySpace:
"Next time I get a call from you at 4 in the morning, you will have the police at your house to deal with. Grow up."
Now imagine YOU got a message like this.... WHEN YOU NEVER CALLED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
It's so strange being accused of something and when the person sounds so sure of what they are accusing you of. So very strange. And random.
I almost wish he WOULD have just contacted the police to begin with. I mean, if he did he would be proven wrong and this would be over. Though it would piss me off to be woken up that early by the police for no reason at all.
I was just talking to my mom about it trying to theorize how or why he would think I called him. Did someone call him and say something about being me? Why would I call and say it was me? Did the phone number look like mine?
It's not like I even HAVE his number.
I won't be able to rest until I know what's going on here.

Dog

We are taking care of this wonderful dog named Pedro...
Here is my niece with Pedro.





By the way, I have a new channel to post random videos that no one cares about but myself. Mostly Ziggy videos (my budgie, not Stardust). If you DO happen to care to check it out, it's here: http://www.youtube.com/ziggybudgie
I really don't expect any of you to care, so don't complain.

Pumpkin pie ice cream

DELICIOUS PUMPKIN PIE ICE CREAM!
Best brand, in my opinion, for this kind of ice cream? Oregon's own, UMPQUA! Sponsor me now, Umpqua.

What I've learned today:

• You should listen more than/as much as you speak.
• Girls interrupt each other while talking more than should be legal. Might be because there's hardly ever time, in a group, to get a word in... but sometimes it can be avoided. Sometimes your word you want in isn't very important when you think about it.
• This one coffee place I have always passed and never considered is actually great and well priced! Must go more often...
• They have free wi-fi too... I've never taken advantage of free wifi anywhere but at the library. I should do this some times... because it's cool. I could be one of those awesome people sitting with a coffee and a laptop acting like I'm doing important work. I'll actually just be on YouTube or Facebook or something but no one has to know if I sit in the corner. Knowing me, I would probably end up spilling on the keyboard and looking EVEN COOLER!
  
• There is one religion in particular that interests me and everytime I do deep down research and read about their actual stuff from ACTUAL CURRENT/FORMER MEMBERS, I can't stop! I don't mean it interests me as in I want to join them... I mean it interests me that people find ways to create these, well, cults and no one catches on to the obvious truths about them. All that money they are getting for converting people and creating new churches/temples/whatever should be used to feed hungry and SAVE HUMAN LIVES. Yes, actually help someone NOW instead of trying to save their/your life from something that happens after you are dead. Dead meaning something that no one has lived through to tell us about. SOMETHING UNCERTAIN AND UNKNOWN TO EVERYONE ALIVE. Sorry if I don't make sense with the way I am connecting my sentences. I am tired.
• I KNOW YOUR SECRETS.

So yeah. That's some of the stuff I learned/thought about today.
Oh and new video too.

We're gonna sail to the hinterland.

So I have been viciously cleaning the house today. Fun stuff, I know. Well it is nice, though, to do something other than going to work.
Anyways I took a break to go online and I have a couple things to say:
1. I got this full length mirror at work because it was pretty damn cheap on sale. Don't even know where to put it but whatever. So I finally decide to take the cardboard that is around it off. I just ripped it all off in a bit of a hurry (don't know why) and right then I saw something fly out from it. I looked to see what it was and it was a razor blade! AHHH! That could have been pretty bad if it was stuck in the cardboard and I grabbed it or something. Just the idea of what COULD have happened freaked me out.
2. I saw a little bit of this show on E! about murders and such. All I saw was a bit about these two kids that randomly decided to just shoot a bunch of middle schoolers. I think the killers were 11 and 13 or something. They are now adults have have been released from jail with a clean record, wtf? And they apparently don't show any remorse or anything. WTF??? There was no reason given or ANYTHING. Well anyways. This just made me cry. The fact that there are so many people out there that would do something like this and not give a shit. Peoples lives are worth so much and then all these fuckfacetardassbitchbastardsnessers have to come along and just end someone elses life and ruin all the lives of those that loved the person.
And even those people out there that don't kill but are judging and hating or just scaring are about as bad as these murders. Arg. Done.

Ooh ahh visionary.

1. Music is weird. I mean it's weird how a song can be full of memories, even memories of things very insignificant. For me, certain Bowie albums bring up a whole set of memories from the time I got each one and would listen to whatever was the newest over and over. His Reality album brings me right back to being in my bedroom right before starting my junior year. I had just gone shopping (Old Navy mostly, I think) with my mom for school clothes. I saw Reality in a store and told my mom how it was his newest album and I only knew one song off of it. Anyways, I then went home and popped in the CD thinking about how different his old-man voice is since I only had a few of his other albums at the time. It began to get cloudy out as I put together my outfits for the first days of school. That's how I always was. I would plan my outfits down to exactly what days I would wear them for the first week. I would even have dreams that I accidentally wore the wrong outfit on the wrong day and it messed up my whole school year. ANYWAYS... I remember one outfit was a pink layered v-neck tshirt, a jean skirt, and these clunkyish shoes. Basically an outfit I would never choose now. After showing my mom and having her tell me it was cute, I went back inside and at that time it began to hail... hard. I remember listening to Bowie belt out his songs as I thought about how gloomy it looked outside. It was one of those days where it looked like it could be sweater weather but was actually warm enough to swim in.
So yeah.

2. I was pissed off today. Very pissed. So I have had a long week. Working, sleeping, working, sleeping. Today after work I decided to stop by this awesomely priced clothing store by my work. I thought a little clothes looking might clear my mind, it sometimes does. I didn't really plan on buying anything other than work pants if they had any that would work (they didn't but I DID buy a shirt). So as I am trying on these shirts there was one I really liked but thought another size would be better. So I go in my hunt to find the other size. The thing about this place is that you can go to your size and just shuffle through the stuff but it's not organized so it takes work. Well as I am looking I kept seeing this little girl down the isle pulling on shirts. She was pulling on those things like she was expecting some candy to come out if she pulled hard enough. Her mother was looking at clothes and turned to look at her daughter but never did anything about her pulling on the shirts. These things were ready to fucking rip! So as I get closer to them and am watching this girl I see her start to pull a price tag. I could see that any second the plastic tag thing could easily rip right through the sleeve. Since I was now standing right next to this child, I just politely said to the child, "You shouldn't pull on that..."
Well this kid acted as though I just said, "I'm going to kill you and your whole family. Oh, and your little dog too! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She just freaked out and hid behind her mom. He mother turned to me and gave me this stare of death. She then said something like "What??" and I said "Sorry she was pulling on that shirt pretty hard..." and then the lady very rudely said some shit in spanish of which I could not understand but don't know if I want to and then said, "If you have a problem with her then tell me! You are not her mother!" I sincerely apologized a little shocked at her reaction. I now wished I would have mentioned that she does not own the clothing and should not allow her little fucking brat to just ruin everything. Anyways the lady turned her head around to the clothes again and then back to me a second later to give another death stare. Fuck her and those death stares. The whole time her little darling girl kept acting as though I had a gun or something. She kept trying to hide from me. Every time I moved a step, she moved a little further. I leaned down a bit and tried to put on a happy face to say sorry to the kid but she ran off again. I didn't want to scare some kid! I wasn't doing it for that bitch-mom, I felt bad for actually scaring the kid!
I didn't want to stay there any longer so I bought the shirt and got in my car. I don't know if I have ever started up my car and left so quickly before, even when running late for something. When I finally got back on the road I just had this burst and screamed out, "FUCK YOU BITCH!" I wasn't really expecting myself to sound so loud and angry. It actually SCARED me! I spent the next minute trying to figure out how I could get so loud/angry sounding.
Blah.
I am sure some people could brush this off. And maybe there is some unwritten law I don't know about that says you can't ask another person's kid to stop doing something stupid. I sure as hell wouldn't give a shit if someone told my future child to stop doing something they shouldn't do! Unless they yelled at them or cussed or didn't something out of line, wtf?

3. I got my sewing machine on monday and have only sewn 2 aprons so far. One from a panel and one from the brain. The machine was an early birthday present to myself and I am not regretting that purchase one bit! It's a great machine. Brother XL 2600. I did a bit of research before buying it so I knew it would be ok. Especially for that price!

The end. Pictures some day.

Untitled #3298219290840398

I have a new video up called "We're Cool Like Dat!". It seems to not be generally accepted by my audience but whatever. [EDIT: ok, maybe just not accepted by SOME.] I had fun making it with Lindsay nonetheless and I find it funny myself. I don't commonly find my own videos funny so this is rare. Why are these people trying to ruin that for me? Oh and Lindsay uploaded this "behind the scenes" type of video. Something that happened when we were just finishing up our last shot. She called it "Teenage Boys". Yeah, go watch if you wanna.

I was reading some more about Jim Jones (the cult leader, not the rapper) and about Michael Travesser and all these other lame-os. It's very interesting stuff to me. You know, cults and religions (which some may say are interchangeable words). It's interesting also how my view of religion has definitely changed in the last year or two-ish. But I won't go there because it really doesn't concern anyone else. But I'm about to watch "The End of the World Cult." on youtube, uploaded in 5 parts...

Subscription update: K80blog. I've finally subscribed. The recent "I got robbed" video along with her "Why I'm Not in the YouTube Partners Program!" are the things that really caught my attention.

Subscriptions

People I am subscribed to in order they appear on my YouTube subscription list:

http://youtube.com/user/ArtieTSMITW
You guys probably already know who this is. If not, check him out. His videos are actually getting him roles in indie films now or something. He does re-enactment videos. I think he's great.

http://youtube.com/user/Mellomel
Mellomel was one of the first people to ever really talk to me on YouTube. We don't talk anymore but I still watch his videos from time to time. He is a very nice man.

http://youtube.com/user/morbeck
Morbeck Morbeck Morbeck. I am not sure what to say about this guy. We used to talk on Stickam and stuff and I would find his videos hilarious.. but lately I haven't been amused by his videos more like concerned. What's going on with him anyways? Oh well, I will stay subscribed.

http://youtube.com/user/Zaranyzerak
One of the first vloggers I saw on YouTube. Though I didn't see him until after I started, he was doing it before me. Of course. Anyways, I just find him interesting. BTW, I am one of the (what seems like) few people that can pronounce his channel name. He explains it in one video.

http://youtube.com/user/littleloca
When I first saw "LittleLoca" I was a little afraid of the possibility of her talking about me on a video. But soon I just found her interesting and kind of funny so I didn't really care anymore. Then of course there was the whole thing of "Is LittleLoca an actress??" But some reason as soon as it was revealed to be an act, I just loved it even more. I mean, that was the second character I saw on YouTube (first being emokid21ohio) and I just thought it was wonderful.

http://youtube.com/user/linzeeroo
She's my friend. Lindsay. Hello, of course I am subscribed. She was just with me an hour ago or so watching Michael Jackson.

http://youtube.com/user/thewinekone
I think his videos are hilarious! But not so family friendly, of course. And he's weird. That's always good. Plus he always seemed pretty nice on Stickam.

http://youtube.com/user/Ooolalaa
"Omg is this the same girl that does LittleLoca?? No way!" Yeah I don't know if I really need to explain anymore.

http://youtube.com/user/mcasual
He's weird and makes weird little weird weird 3d experimental videos or something. Haha weird.

http://youtube.com/user/pimplywimp
Come on! It's PimplyWimp! I think his videos are very well done and he's just so funny. After he asked me to do part of the YouTube: The Movie thing I knew he was a nice guy. After meeting him in person, this was just validated. Ryan was such an awkwardly weird guy and just really nice.

http://youtube.com/user/VioletKitty411
She's such a sweetheart and I really enjoy watching her videos. And that's all I have to say. VK Out.

http://youtube.com/user/nyOPERAguy
I was really interested in what he had to say. He started some weight loss vlogging thing but some reason after he started that, he has pretty much stopped making videos. Just adding one every few YEARS (well, it feels like it anyways).

http://youtube.com/user/HappySlip
Very enjoyable videos and personality. Not really sure what else to say really. Just like her videos.

http://youtube.com/user/lukettylwillie
I found him after his violetkitty411 impression. It was so perfect! He's just weird and I don't know if you can tell but weirdness is just something I like to subscribe to.

http://youtube.com/user/thewinektwo
TheWineKone's second account. Naturally had to subscribe, duh.

http://youtube.com/user/ysabellabravetalk
Ysabellabrave just has such a sweet personality and I adore watching her videos. This is just her "talking" channel, obviously, but I love the way she approaches the things she talks about.

http://youtube.com/user/stevieryan
Um another Stevie account. I love the old fashioned videos, she just does them so well!

http://youtube.com/user/TheRealParis
And Stevie's 4th and final (I believe, who knows?) account. I love the videos she puts on this one! HILARIOUS! oh and I might as well take this time to say that Stevie, as a person, is also really cool. We haven't talked in ages but meeting her and the time I spent there in LA was great thanks to her. I will always have great memories of Disneyland and stuff. It was my first time there, after all. What better first could it have been?

http://youtube.com/user/jklproduction
Freakin' weird youngins. BTW, Lucas used to stalk my Stickam pretty much. Psh stalker. Jk. Kind of. They just make carefree videos. Reminds me of the home videos that would be made before youtube. Just so silly and fun.

http://youtube.com/user/communitychannel
When I think of her I honestly think of the words "hi" and "sorry". She just says sorry way too much! But her videos are great.

http://youtube.com/user/Daxflame
I just think this character is really funny! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY!

http://youtube.com/user/Brigidshine
Someone sent me her website, crystalanne.org, a long time ago. When I found out she was uploading her videos onto YouTube I just had to subscribe. WTF?? I just noticed her account is closed and her website just says she is on hiatus. AHH SHE CAN'T DO THIS TO US!!

http://youtube.com/user/RhettandLink
I think they are pretty funny. I wouldn't have known about them if they didn't do the short lived Online Nation with Stevie. They sent me this one CD of theirs and I think it is hilarious. I also love how they don't think they have to be vulgar to be funny.

http://youtube.com/user/ysabellabrave
I love her singing voice and her videos. 'Nuff said.

http://youtube.com/user/ghostwise
Such a nice and strong guy. Check out his art! And his videos always seem to get me thinking. I know that not everyone with his condition would be brave enough to put themselves out there for the world. Heck, not even I feel brave enough for the YouTube world sometimes. But I'm glad he is putting videos up and opening up to us.

http://youtube.com/user/whataboutadam
I just think he's fun to watch. Yep. I am getting tired of typing. I think I will now make them all short. Yes.

http://youtube.com/user/elysesewell
She was on ANTM. I love ANTM. Put it together.

http://youtube.com/user/Zipster08
Fun character. Always interesting.

http://youtube.com/user/WHATTHEBUCKSHOW
Funny guy! I normally don't care about the "news" of celebrities but he makes it fun! Pull shapes.

http://youtube.com/user/rosstheintern
OMG his personality is great. I actually laugh out loud a lot with his videos. He's just so fun to watch.

http://youtube.com/user/BerniceJuachTalk
DaxFlame's extra channel. I don't know why. It's Dax.

http://youtube.com/user/lonelygirl15
Though I didn't like it at first I became addicted. Now I can't stop watching but always end up wanting the whole thing to just finally get an ending already!

http://youtube.com/user/Danielbeast
LG15 dude.

http://youtube.com/user/jonastko
LG15 dude. A different one.

http://youtube.com/user/peron75
What the buck's more personal channel. You get to see the more human side of him.

http://youtube.com/user/GoPotatoTV
I don't know. Funny stuff sometimes?

http://youtube.com/user/sunshinetaylor
Her videos make me happy.

http://youtube.com/user/QuietRiot
I actually find the "boring vlogging" side of "Brookers" to be more entertaining than the "Brookers" brookers. Dunno why.

http://youtube.com/user/TLRoth
The man behind "Zipster08". Great guy.

http://youtube.com/user/NutCheese
I love her older ghetto living series. Oh and yes I find fart jokes to be funny! Fart. Poop.

http://youtube.com/user/TheReceptionist
Have you SEEN this guy's work? How can you not like it? It's crazy!

http://youtube.com/user/SteAndKel
SteAndKel are obviously just great. I don't know how people could not like their personalities. They are the perfect team. It's kind of like one of those tv shows where you see some people you think would be a good couple and you just keep waiting for them to finally get together. "We're just friends!" Whatever.

http://youtube.com/user/OfficialSpiceGirls
Spice Girls.

http://youtube.com/user/somegreybloke
Creatively done videos. I love this bloke.

http://youtube.com/user/whitekitten
My friend Jen. like actual friend. Check her out.

http://youtube.com/user/BeanerLaRue
I got a friend request from her on MySpace and that's when I first saw her videos. If you haven't watched them, you should. She is brilliant!

http://youtube.com/user/fiveawesomegirls
They all seem like fun girls. I don't think you need to like Harry Potter to like them. They started the "fiveawesome".

http://youtube.com/user/NationalGeographic
For the times I feel like getting away from the vlogging and funny videos and just want to learn something. I guess.

http://youtube.com/user/IAMWA
It's Isaac. The love of my life. How could I not subscribe. He has made a couple videoblogs so check them out!

http://youtube.com/user/caroline372
This guy has the best Bowie/Lennon/everything impressions. He sings the stuff himself too and it's just great.

http://youtube.com/user/CelestialNM
Another real-life friend, Amy.

http://youtube.com/user/IseAndMel
Isaac and I. Isaac and Melody. IseAndMel vs. SteAndKel.

http://youtube.com/user/thelonefilmmaker
This project interested me. Haven't seen any videos lately.

http://youtube.com/user/Strophanthus
"Lindsay Lohan" got me hooked. I don't know what it is but I love the videos.

http://youtube.com/user/Kratz01
Used to watch her on LV when she would blog there. I think she's just so real or something.

http://youtube.com/user/mrpregnant
OMG just so funny Jimone!

Going green?

First off, I got the adapter for my laptop so I can use it again, yay!

Second I was just wondering something about this going green thing. Ok it's great and all and it's good that so many companies and people are into it... but how many of these celebrities (and/or just regular people) that walk around in shirts saying "SAVE THE EARTH, GO GREEN" or whatever REALLY care? How many of them actually do something about this other than just buying clothing or saying some phrase? I see so many people that promote going green but they hardly mention what they are doing to do their part. Do they just see it as a trend or some way to make them APPEAR to be a better person?

On a completely different note...
Tyra Banks.

Ok well it can almost be related because in the last cycle she kept promoting "going green" but really this isn't about that.
If you know me, which I doubt you (whoever you may be) do unless you are Isaac or someone.... though I don't know who reads this other than him...
ANYWAY
If you know me you probably know I am obsessed with ANTM and love to watch the Tyra show. I find Tyra Banks to be hilarious in some weird way and also just get so into ANTM. But one thing just bugs the crap out of me about Tyra. Not literally because that would be weird and gross. But she just seems to act as though she knows and understands every thing. She tries to be a psychologist way too often. Come on woman, just because you host a show it doesn't mean you are some god of it. If I could meet her, I gladly would. I am sure she might be down to earth in person but the image she gives off on TV seems to be so self absorbed. If ever there is someone having a hard time, she seems to have to find a moment to mention when SHE went through a hard time just like it/oh so much worse and ignores that they are sad NOW and don't need to hear your sob stories.

As for America's Next Top Model, I want either Lauren, Anya, or Katarzyna to win. Mostly Lauren because well, duh. I can't stand Dominique and I don't like her look. Fatima isn't interesting and she doesn't look unique at all. Whitney bugs me and AGAIN doesn't look any different than a million people I have seen before and I doubt they would let her win anyways (plus size for those non-viewers). I normally don't judge people on their looks (who am I to judge, right?) but you can't hate me for it here, it IS a modeling competition. But then again I bet they will choose someone I don't really care for. What was with last cycle? Saleisha Stowers being the winner? She was so plain and I've seen her a million times before (not HER but people that look like her). And damn why did they have to give her that haircut?

ENOUGH with this ranting. Goodnight.

"Ask... Me... Things...." Answers

About a year ago I made a video telling people they could ask me whatever. I don't really like answering the questions in videos because I tend to go on and on with the answers or don't know what to say. Instead, I will answer some questions here. I don't even remember which ones I've already answered in a video... so sorry if there are repeats.

Have you ever met Mr Jones himself ? I've met him twice !!
Well Johnny, GOOD FOR YOU! [Enter jealousy here] I have not met David Bowie (Jones is his birth last name, for those wondering) and doubt I ever will. I haven't even been close!

I just thought of another question. Have you ever made a video that you were too embarrassed to post on YT or LV?
YES. Oh goodness yes.

David Bowie with his "old" teeth or David Bowie with his "new" teeth? I like him with his "old" set of teeth...
His old teeth gave him more character. I liked them a lot! His new ones are almost too straight and weird. I believe he should go get his old choppers back! I wonder if Iman made him do it...

Ever traveled anywhere besides Los Angeles?
Yes. But never left the US. I've been to Oregon, Washington, all over California (though LA was my first time in SOUTHERN California), Colorado, and Nevada. I think that's it. I was born in California.

Where were you 9/11/01?
I was home getting ready for school, I think. And then when I went to school that day everyone was talking about it and I was so confused. I didn't even know what the world trade centers were! I was 13 years old.

Ever been in an earthquake, flood, or other natural disaster?
Not that I know of. Oregon seems to not get any of that stuff or at least not that bad.

What would you do with $10,000?
1) Buy a new computer. 2) Give some to Isaac for him to come here and then use some to go THERE. 3) MOVE OUT. The rest would basically be saved and used for things money is used for. Ha. I'm selfish.

At this point in your existence, are you in a, "Oh, I want to find a guy to be the love of my life" phase or are you in the, "Oh, I just wanna buddy to go to the movies/ more...beach/concert with who will just giggle if I shove my ice cream cone in his face on a wild impulse" phase?
BOTH!!! How could I think a guy was the love of my life if we didn't have crazy fun together? I've got both!

Are you a member of DavidBowie.com?
No. I hear that right now, since Bowie isn't really even USING it, it isn't much better than a normal message board. I'm not spending money for that! I will stick with BowieWonderWorld, thank you.

If you could have a career as an actress, film director, painter/artist, or web designer. Which would you choose?
If I was a great artist and was able to live off of it I would DEFINITELY choose artist. I suck at acting/directing and don't have the confidence. Buut it looks like the only realistic thing would be web designer, but I don't know how much of an interest in that I have. Oh gosh, but if you are talking DREAM I would go with artist.

Bitter? Shmitter...

I have received a few comments from people saying I have gotten bitter.
Sure, I have changed in the last year or two but it's not that I've gotten bitter! I AM a happier person and I AM starting to realize more of who I am and what I want in life (credit for this does NOT go to YT, credit goes to growing up and falling in love, etc.)
Things have always bugged me and just because I mention them or complain about these things openly it doesn't mean I'm any angrier with the world than before. Maybe the world's perception of who BOWIECHICK really is is the thing that is changing. Maybe the world is seeing a little more Melody and a little less of the internet persona.
I am not going to feel bad about this because I know that it isn't me, it is just how these people are viewing me.

On another and perhaps a little more cheerful note:
AMANDA COMES TOMORROW! I am picking her up from the airport tomorrow and then later we are going to Jen's bachelorette party (hen night for those who would be less American than I). Don't worry, it won't be some drunk slutty night like the typical stupid ones you may or may not know of.
I am STILL confused about some details of this wedding. I will probably be confused through out the whole wedding, I'm sure. Oh well, I will just follow my fellow bridesmaids mindlessly and look pretty.
Our dresses aren't ugly, yay!

Are you KIDDING ME?

Dumb parents. Dumb kids.
Ok something else is pissing me off now.
It's about that whole thing with the 8 mentally impaired beating up that girl in Florida.
Now I am not going to rant about how stupid those kids are...
I am annoyed with the PARENTS.
They are STUPID enough to put the blame on websites.
Are you SERIOUS?
If these kids weren't stupid, they wouldn't have done this. You can't blame some websites.
UGH.
I am just sick of parents blaming myspace or youtube for something that happens to their kids.
Just like if there is a shooting at a school, you can't say schools are the anti-Christ and should be shut down. IT'S THE PEOPLE THAT ARE CAUSING PROBLEMS AND EVEN IF THEY DIDN'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE INTERNET THEY ARE STILL GOING TO BE JUST AS MORONIC!

That is all.
Maybe soon I will make a happy blog.