Saturday, August 22, 2009

I'm a bitch

I miss painting and crafty stuff. I really do have the time for it but I normally just end up getting out of the house because I don't feel like wasting summer any more than I already am. That's probably why so many more people do those things (and sew) in the winter. You're trapped inside anyway so why not?
The clean up process after making the mess is also a bummer. I can't help but think about how much of a pain it is to clean out paint brushes and all of that stuff when I'm done and I don't even want to make the mess anymore. Where can I get a free maid that will do all this for me? Meh.
In that sense, I am excited for fall and winter. At the same time I feel as though I haven't had much of a summer. It's not as though I ever really did any of my life. I've always been a nerd that just hid away waiting for summer to end. The main reason is because I had/have hyperhidrosis which is completely embarrassing and in summer I couldn't hide it with a jacket. Fortunately, that's not something I have to deal with as much anymore but it took years to mentally recover from the humiliation and problems it caused.
Still, I don't have many friends (only 2 I've seen in MONTHS) and it's pretty hard having fun when you're alone. I just wish I could have a fun summery summer for once and not regret wasting it all away being a loser. !97297927 (*@&982729 (*&2 298eoiywhdjkc

It's getting harder and harder for me to work at the type of job I have. The idea of me doing it for a few more years or my whole life kills me. It's not the co-workers, I just have a really really REALLY hard time dealing with customers. I complain about them often enough on here. Just sitting here, I feel like screaming or crying thinking about how much a pain so many of them seem to be. It might actually just be a few but they really stick out in my head and I automatically just view all customers as this way. I am sick of the ones that treat me like crap and assume I make the rules of the store I work at. NEWS FLASH: I don't! I am also not the one that supplies the store with merchandise so I have NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT WHAT YOU WANT IS GONE OR DOESN'T EXIST!
It's also getting harder for me to keep my cool with them. I used to be able to smile or treat them nicely until they left but this anger bottled up in me and I used to cry after work... a lot. Now, if a customer is so rude to me that I can't handle it, I don't bother being nice. It's not as though I yell at them or call them anything rude to their face, I just give them a cold shoulder. This isn't professional but they should learn to treat people better. It's a good thing I don't serve food, I'm sure you could imagine what I'd do with that. :)

It's always the quiet ones you have to look out for.


Miroslav the snow lover said...

You need an outlet, not youtube/this blog/anything else online.

Is there a place in your area where you can go paintballing?

Got somewhere, where you can be alone like a lake in cottage land in your area? then just go there and meditate and scream, it's ok to scream.

lenny said...

Agh, that's how I feel about painting too. Wish the cleanup was less of a hassle. One thing that helps is wearing rubber gloves though. At least your hands don't get all oily-ed up with paints and crap.

I didn't know customers have made you cry! That sucks. I hate people. It's been a while since I've cried, but that's probably because I realize that they personally mean nothing to me. I too will just give them the cold shoulder. They HATE that, they want you to grovel at their feet while keeping a smile. F THAT!