Sunday, June 14, 2009

I feel like a teenager...

These last three days have been just crap for me.
I just feel so down and emotional. I can't handle stress well right now.
Last night I was tossing and turning with anxiety and I can't pinpoint a reason. Then I started freaking out about nothing. Like I thought I couldn't breathe and then I felt like the sleeve of my shirt was too tight and cutting into my skin (which it wasn't even close!). I feel like I'm going crazy!
It doesn't help that Isaac's computer won't let us talk for more than a hello goodbye. I hope he can get that fixed. Tomorrow I will only be able to say "Hi, bye!" to him because I get off work later. So with yesterday, today, and tomorrow total may equal about 2 hours together or less. We normally talk HOURS a day. Seriously.
And today we didn't even talk. He spent most of the time that we had together getting the pictures off his camera from today. He went to the London International Music Show which had his favorite Steve Vai. Then his computer shut down.
I've just been feeling some strange stress and loneliness that I don't like and don't know what to do about. It's only been for about 3 days but it has felt like ages. I liked being happy.
It just makes me feel a bit like a teenager. Moody, lonely, depressed. Emo. Lawls.
Plus, customers were really rude at work today. It's not our fault you all decide to come at once and cause a big line! We're trying to help you! Just grab a freakin' number!
I'm not able to handle this right now. I just need to talk to Isaac but I haven't had that opportunity at all.

So like a couple weeks ago I went to the doctors and had my blood drawn. My health came back pretty much perfect but the one thing that was off is I guess I'm too much of a man. Yes, you heard me! Too much testosterone. Kind of embarrassing but it's really common so whatever. Women have testosterone my levels are just a little high. I believe it. I am wondering if the medication is messing with me a bit or something. Or maybe I am PMSing. I am part female, after all. I do PMS...

1 comment:

Chelsea Morning said...

Hey man sorry you are having some bad times lately. I'm 19 so i won't be a teenager for much longer but i think untill you 25 you'll still sorta have those feelings but hey what do i know, i just hope everything goes right for you. You totally deserve it, Just keeping thinking to your self everything will be alright which i have no doubt it will. You got have bad times to appreciate the good times. So you will be fine man.