Sunday, July 12, 2009


You know when someone has low expectations of you and no matter what you do, you can't please them? And you know how that makes you not even try because it doesn't matter either way anyway?
That kind of explains my relationship with my father.
No matter what I say, I make him angry for it. He always thinks I am saying things to him to piss him off or everything I DO is purely done to piss him off. I'm not even a bad "kid". I sanitize the remote and he gets angry at me. Seriously, I can't clean anything without him assuming it's because of the fact that he doesn't always wash his hands. Which maybe it sometimes IS for that reason, but it's rude of him to expect us to live with it. People clean things when they get gross, get used to it.
Or if he asks me a question and I don't answer with how he wants me to answer, he either has to get some mean last word in or he shakes his head and walks off. The thing is, he misinterprets EVERY THING I SAY. I can tell him it's hot outside and he'll find something insulting in that.
What makes it worse is he has this thing where he has to get the last word in and won't let me even speak so I can't clear up his misunderstanding.
So this leads to me not even wanting to BOTHER to talk to him. If I do, it ends up coming out of my mouth in a teenagerish sarcastic tone. Why? Because it's what he expects and it doesn't make a difference anyways.
I wish he would make an effort to not find an insult in every thing I do and say.

He really just doesn't know me. What he "knows" is that I "Sit on the computer all day". That's seriously one of the first things he tells people when he introduces me. Yeah, really nice. Hey Dad, ever consider that I spend most of that time talking to the man I love? He doesn't know what I do all day, he just assumes I spend it on the computer.
Well I know what he does all day (when he's not working). He watches tv. All the time. He spends as much time as I spend online watching tv. And at least going online works your brain and I'm interacting with people. How would you feel if everytime I was introducing you to someone I said, "This is dad. He watches tv."

1 comment:

Faith said...

I was kind of like that, not quite, but kind of. It's because I was miserable and wasn't getting the love I needed. Even if I did get it, I'd have acted cold still. I wouldn't know what to do, but I'd just try to do some really nice things until he asked me to stop. I'm sorry you go through that. He's feels like he's missing something in life probably. He may feel like a victim and makes himself a victim for some reason. I hope you work it out some day :)