I feel like a teenager...

These last three days have been just crap for me.
I just feel so down and emotional. I can't handle stress well right now.
Last night I was tossing and turning with anxiety and I can't pinpoint a reason. Then I started freaking out about nothing. Like I thought I couldn't breathe and then I felt like the sleeve of my shirt was too tight and cutting into my skin (which it wasn't even close!). I feel like I'm going crazy!
It doesn't help that Isaac's computer won't let us talk for more than a hello goodbye. I hope he can get that fixed. Tomorrow I will only be able to say "Hi, bye!" to him because I get off work later. So with yesterday, today, and tomorrow total may equal about 2 hours together or less. We normally talk HOURS a day. Seriously.
And today we didn't even talk. He spent most of the time that we had together getting the pictures off his camera from today. He went to the London International Music Show which had his favorite Steve Vai. Then his computer shut down.
I've just been feeling some strange stress and loneliness that I don't like and don't know what to do about. It's only been for about 3 days but it has felt like ages. I liked being happy.
It just makes me feel a bit like a teenager. Moody, lonely, depressed. Emo. Lawls.
Plus, customers were really rude at work today. It's not our fault you all decide to come at once and cause a big line! We're trying to help you! Just grab a freakin' number!
I'm not able to handle this right now. I just need to talk to Isaac but I haven't had that opportunity at all.

So like a couple weeks ago I went to the doctors and had my blood drawn. My health came back pretty much perfect but the one thing that was off is I guess I'm too much of a man. Yes, you heard me! Too much testosterone. Kind of embarrassing but it's really common so whatever. Women have testosterone my levels are just a little high. I believe it. I am wondering if the medication is messing with me a bit or something. Or maybe I am PMSing. I am part female, after all. I do PMS...

Shit sucks

I'm in my don't-feel-like-blogging-much stage right now. It comes and goes. Sometimes I blog every day! Where does that come from? Does my head grow a bit every once in a while to the point that I feel important enough to blog about nothing? Meh.
I've been kind of down the last couple days. Isaac's computer has been having problems. Starting with the printer, which bothers us because that means he can't print out the forms he needs for immigration. Today his computer is randomly shutting off and smells like burning electricity or something. We cut our talk short today so his computer can rest. We don't want it exploding on us! The guy who built it is coming in on Monday so hopefully he can help him out.
There's also other annoying stuff going on I prefer not to talk about so publicly.
Let's hope my mood improves again and I can get on with my life.

BTW, changed the template on here. Like it? I also changed the look of the IseAndMel website. It's just done on paint but I think it looks fun anyway.

Blog suggestion

Blog suggestion:
The Weekly Menu
My friend Jen has created a new blog where she posts a week long menu along with a shopping list for that week. If you're like me, it's hard to think of what to make and going to a recipe site hardly helps because there are too many choices!
She's my friend so that should be reason enough to promote her blog. Check it out!

Awkward!

Suggested site of the moment: Awkward Family Photos!!!
Isaac and I had a blast looking at these and I just noticed they updated quite a bit since I last looked. Seriously, look at them all! They are amazing. You need to read the captions because they make the photos so much better. Seriously. GO!

GOOD NEWS!
Isaac got his old job back! Well, kind of. Same place, different hours. We're very happy about this because it has been so difficult to get a job over there for anyone. He never gave up trying which I am so proud of because it was getting to the point that it seemed impossible. Luckily, people he worked with told him about the opening and next thing we knew he had the job. Yay!

17 year old Melody is NOT ME

I know that I see videos or blogs of people that say the same things as I am about to say but I feel the need to say this anyway.

I AM NOT WHO I WAS 3 YEARS AGO!

You guys have the "privilege" to watch me grow from late teens to early adulthood and that means you are also watching me go through mental growth and changes.
Most people realize this but every once in a while I get a complaint that I have changed (both the way I act and look) and they don't like it. Get over it! This is me NOW. Three years ago I was a pretty pathetic creature, in my opinion. I was still a child and I didn't know how to form opinions of my own or be my own person. I was still crushing on every guy that crossed my path! I remember even constantly worrying about how every single person in my school would view me.
I am almost 21 now and if you don't see how my views on things and my personality can change since the age of 17 you need a smack in the back of the head.

I am different than I was in high school and I will continue morphing as I grow. It's part of life and you are watching it.

ANTM

If you don't follow me on everything you might not already know that I am not-so-secretly in love with America's Next Top Model. When they first started it I avoided watching it because I judged it too quickly. One day about 3.5 years ago or so I watched reruns on TV and from then on I was hooked.
Most seasons I end up liking the weird girls that you know won't make it far. I like the interesting ones with fun personalities! But unfortunately, the girls I root for hardly ever make it near the end. In fact, I normally cringe when they announce the winners. McKey? Whitney? Saleisha? Bored.
If you watch the show you may be able to guess who I was rooting for based on what I've described. Allison and Celia were two that I liked. I had a feeling Celia wasn't going to win but I REALLY didn't think Allison would make it to the final two! What?? Creepy Chan? Final two? REALLY? She surprised me. She may be a little awkward but I loved her photographs and her walk really improved by the end.
By the time they were down to 5, I had a feeling Teyona was going to win. She's pretty, sure, but I didn't find that much interesting about her.
It always feel weird talking about the show like this because I don't normally follow TV series and I don't normally judge people this much but that's kind of the point of the show, right?
I don't even know if there was a point I wanted to make in this blog or if I just wanted to blabber on about ANTM. Meh.

"Guns don't kill people..."

I will make a blog about my mom some other time and her operation but right now I want to talk a bit about guns. I will keep this short.

I hate guns. I really do. I also hate how people try to defend them so much. Oh, shut up. I've heard it all and I think it's all lame.

Here's something someone wrote that kind of explains what I think.

I also hate hunting. If you live out there and you have to hunt to survive, go for it! But if you live in the city and go to the store to buy your meat but just go hunting for fun? Fuck you, seriously. Excuse my language. Sad, pathetic, I could go on. Have children and you got them a gun so they can shoot animals with you? Oh what a wonderful life! Oh yes, video games are horrible *rolls eyes*.

I don't think hunting or guns make someone manly or tough. Want to win over my heart? Use your brain.

I'm so glad I found a guy that's on my side with this. No wonder I don't like American men.

/rant