My my I haven't updated much lately. I feel like I am just going along in life and I don't really have any creative moments anymore. I think it's stress and tiredness and weirdness and everything mixed, ahhh!
I am trying so hard to look for another job. The job I have now is just getting to be too much to handle. The job itself is simple and doesn't involve much of your brain (which would explain some of the people that work there, no offense). It's just that I have never been a morning person OR a late late at night worker. It used to be that if I was expected into work at 7 in the morning I would have a hard time but this really messes with your time! I had to be at work before 3 AM on both Thursday and Friday and then we took a trip that took about 1.5 hours and then worked for 8.5 hours and then came back. The whole time there and back having to listen to annoying repetitive loud rap crap. I brought my iPod but no matter how loud I had it I could hear the thumping beat of the rap the whole time.
I think my problem is I like a consistent schedule. I'm fine with working at different times but as long as it doesn't mess too much with my normal sleeping time. This just makes me feel so strange and I just feel completely out of it.
It's just so hard to find a job right now. Many places are laying people off, not hiring. And the ones that ARE hiring are either jobs I CAN'T get (no experience) or jobs that would be just as bad.
I mean, it's money and that's good but I really wish I didn't dislike it so much.
And with all the people I work with I feel completely out of place. I can't relate to anyone. When I hear them talk I just know I have completely different views on everything and even their personalities just don't go with mine. It's fine when we have a local job but when we do those little trips and I have to be around them it really gets to me. I feel like I'm in school again only this time I don't have any friends. I sit alone at lunch like a loser, yay! If I really wanted to, I could TRY becoming friendly with some but honestly I don't see a point. Especially since I would have to be fake to get along. I never seem to make friends at any place I work. There must be something wrong with me.
Sorry I'm complaining but this IS my blog and I need to get things out.
I will continue working there until I find a different job. I just don't have a clue when that will be.